Thursday, January 22, 2009

Why does life have to be painful....

Why does time have to go by fast? Its been almost one whole week, I spent with my brother and sister in law here in Hawaii. Its so painful to have to see my son, be so sad, cause my brother's and sister in law's time have to end? My son, really dosen't know what is going on and why do they have to come and go? My son always ask the same question time after time. I feel bad cause my sons life is so hecked it. He knows that my brother and understands where he lives, and why he has to come and go. He said Mommy, I want to go and move with them. I told him, its not that easy, life is alittle crazy, but dont worry It will be okay. Well, go and visit them soon.
My son has slowly understands why his dad is the way he is. I just hate lying, but actually im not, I wont be the one to have to answer to him. His dad will have to be the one to answer the questions later in life. He is the one who is missing out on a precious life. I just dont understand, how you can make a child and then turn the minute you find out. It takes two, and it deeply hurts to have to see this, happen to my son. He deserves the best and nuthin but the best.
At times, I just want to cry, and run away and never be found. Life gets painful and tough at times. Its really hard to have to explain why life is so painful. Every day with out God's love, and merecy I dont know where I would be. He has guided me to where I am today, and has made me stronger and strive for so much in my life. He has blessed me with a great child. I could never complain. My son is the greatest and hes my world and everything.
My family is the greatest and I would not trade them for the world, they have been by my side through thick and thin. If I could reward my family, they would be the most patient family award. They have guided, been there no matter the decision, nor the problem. I could never thank them enough. My mom has been such an inspiration to me, and has been the best from the beginning to the end. My dad, he had such a hard time at first, but time has changed and my son is nuthin but his pride and joy. Anything for him. My brothers...what could you possible say, they only want the best for me, and nuthin but the best. They have been there for me no matter the situation, they have been the most patiently brothers ever, yeah they can be asses, but they are the greatest....They learned to except and they show more love then ever before. You have to know by now...that Jordan is their pride and joy and nuthin will ever come in between them.
My sister in law, she has been the greatest friend...She always got my back no matter the situation, never judged me always there for me and excepts everything I do, no matter what decison i make. I wouldnt trade her for the world.
My friends...That will be in another blog, thats another whole story in its self.

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