Thursday, January 22, 2009

Why does life have to be painful....

Why does time have to go by fast? Its been almost one whole week, I spent with my brother and sister in law here in Hawaii. Its so painful to have to see my son, be so sad, cause my brother's and sister in law's time have to end? My son, really dosen't know what is going on and why do they have to come and go? My son always ask the same question time after time. I feel bad cause my sons life is so hecked it. He knows that my brother and understands where he lives, and why he has to come and go. He said Mommy, I want to go and move with them. I told him, its not that easy, life is alittle crazy, but dont worry It will be okay. Well, go and visit them soon.
My son has slowly understands why his dad is the way he is. I just hate lying, but actually im not, I wont be the one to have to answer to him. His dad will have to be the one to answer the questions later in life. He is the one who is missing out on a precious life. I just dont understand, how you can make a child and then turn the minute you find out. It takes two, and it deeply hurts to have to see this, happen to my son. He deserves the best and nuthin but the best.
At times, I just want to cry, and run away and never be found. Life gets painful and tough at times. Its really hard to have to explain why life is so painful. Every day with out God's love, and merecy I dont know where I would be. He has guided me to where I am today, and has made me stronger and strive for so much in my life. He has blessed me with a great child. I could never complain. My son is the greatest and hes my world and everything.
My family is the greatest and I would not trade them for the world, they have been by my side through thick and thin. If I could reward my family, they would be the most patient family award. They have guided, been there no matter the decision, nor the problem. I could never thank them enough. My mom has been such an inspiration to me, and has been the best from the beginning to the end. My dad, he had such a hard time at first, but time has changed and my son is nuthin but his pride and joy. Anything for him. My brothers...what could you possible say, they only want the best for me, and nuthin but the best. They have been there for me no matter the situation, they have been the most patiently brothers ever, yeah they can be asses, but they are the greatest....They learned to except and they show more love then ever before. You have to know by now...that Jordan is their pride and joy and nuthin will ever come in between them.
My sister in law, she has been the greatest friend...She always got my back no matter the situation, never judged me always there for me and excepts everything I do, no matter what decison i make. I wouldnt trade her for the world.
My friends...That will be in another blog, thats another whole story in its self.

Why, Does there need to be traffic, late at night.....

I just dont understand, its 10:00 at night, and there is traffic glore at Fort Weaver Road. You must be thinking what the heck I'm I doing good out so late, and to Ewa. Well, I had to meet a friend, and it took me 20 minutes just to past West Lock. All because there was a accident, right after West Lock, with a bunch of popo's and about five cars, blocking one lane, mind you there is only two lanes going into Ghetto, Ewa Beach. So everyone had to merge into one lane. I hate that, boy was I pasted. It took me so long, and mind you I left, my house in Aiea, at 9:45. That was the worst of my night, to get home, and I missed a message from my friend out in Iraq. Even more mad I was. Eventually I got over it, and had to get up, in five hours to take my dog out, feed him, take a shower, get ready for work, and then make my lunch, then finally wake up my son, Jordan. This morning, he exactly was a good sport in getting up along with getting ready. Thank God! Some mornings its a battle field with him. I want to give up but I just cant. This morning my morning is going good. I got to talk to my friend from Iraq, that surely brighten my day.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Why does people have to know what I am doing, gonna do, or say....

Why does people have to know what I am doing, gonna do, or say. People need to mind there own business. They always want to be in my business. I just don't understand, what I am doing, is nuthin they need to know. If I was going to drink and drive, who cares, its what i'm gonna do and why do I need to tell you. If I was leaving work early, why do you need to know. If I was eating something, why do you need to know. If I say something that dosen't pertain to you, then why should you ask what am I talking about. People are just to darn nosey, and always up in my business. If am gonna say do something stupid, who cares, it's my life, and don't judge me for it. If you do then why? You ain't perfect yourself. You just got no life, and always trying to be all up in peoples business. You should start looking for your own life, man ect. You need to wake up drink some star bucks....or maybe even a shot..its okay to take at least one shot.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Why I am wondering......

This world can be a crazy place....I'm wondering about alot of things, and so is other people...I guess wondering can be dangerous, cause you want what you are wondering about to be either true or not true. For me wondering takes you to a whole new level, regardless of what you are wondering about. When I wondeWon want things usually to be good, with great ending. Wondering can be dangerous, cause it cause stress, pain, sleepless nights, and on top of that worrying. In due time, the wondering can pay off a whole l0t...

Wondering why people say stupid things? Wondering why sometimes life isnt fair? Wondering why must things be the way they are? Wondering why dogs cant clean up after themselves? Wondering why people call in sick and say to the world that there having 5 days off of work? Wondering why people don't fix them selves up to find a man? Wondering why people cant be honest to themselves, that they need help? Wondering why I have to go to work, when they say there is going to be bad winds tomorrow? Wondering why what does wind have to do with no school? Wondering why people have to stay in a locked up marriage or relationship? Wondering why people have to report in and out when doing things? Wondering why people have to talk so loud, then be quite when someone comes?

So many wonderings but not enough answers. I know that there is so much answers but I dont think people want to hear the answers. Thats why we just wonder...Dont get me wrong wondering is a good thing. It makes your brain work and work faster than ever. I think its healthy.

Wondering is healthy and is the most fun thing to do.


Here I go, why must people say dumb and stupid things for? I just don't understand why people have to say stuff, and do the total opposite of what they say. They should either get arrested for saying stupid and dumb things or they should get a ticket. Once they say things over and over they should be put into jail for a month to make them think about what they said. I know that stupid people make this world go round and round but come on they need to at least know that it crazy when things that come out of there mouth is stupid along with plain and simple dumb.

Speaking of dumb and stupid, how are you going to say on your companys time and its illegal, but turn around and do it your self? Dont quite understand? I know that everyone isnt perfect,but just case you think your higher up means you can say it but then do it. Thats just wrong. Who do you think you are? To me everyone is equal and on top of that, you asked to do a favor for you. That is just not freakin right. People need to wake up and smell some coffee? roses? or may be an elephant? or maybe hotdogs? I think hotdogs sounds good. Nah that sounds stupid. I shouldn't say that cause ill be going against my word, i may have to get either a ticket get arrested. Dont want any of that, so i cant say stupid or duumb things, but i can stress blogging on it. Some people just need a life, if they dont have a life they say stupid things. Thats what gets people into trouble or make people believe you are exactly stupid and dumb.

I'm pretty sure after all that non sense today, that person had to walk back to there destination. Well, things happen and thats what happens when you say stupid things for no reason at all. Im so glad that I wasnt there,cause boy I wouldnt know exactly what would have came out of my mouth. God forbid but man the devil sure would have came out. Its a good thing I didnt have to deal with it. On top of that if you know you have to go somewhere and dont have a way back, then you should think twice about what you are going to do and how you are going to come back. It makes a whole lot of sense. If not then I know you are stupid and what ever comes out has to be stupid or dumb. HELP us! I think im beginning to like this alot, cause I wish I could tell stupid people to stop saying stupid things....